Power And Your Grandchildren

I was thinking about this blog this morning. I was specifically thinking about the word ‘powerful.’ I thought maybe I’d better be clearer about what I mean by this word.

I don’t mean the kind of power that people use to overpower someone else, like your grandchildren. I mean standing filled with your personal power and by that very stance empowering others, like your grandchildren to be filled with their own personal power. Then you both interact like that together.

This is one of the things I mean by ‘powerful’ in this blog. You do this by knowing what matters to you each moment and staying true to that.  You want and encourage that same act of power in others, like your grandchildren.

For example, let’ say you took your two young grandsons to play in the nearby park. All the swings are being used except one. They both run over and both try to get on the swing at the same time.

They are both pulling on the chains and announcing that they got there first and it’s their turn. Let’s say you want to introduce them to the Power of Respect. You want to start cooperation and discourage fighting.

Go over to them and ask, “Does anyone want some help?” Chances are almost 100% that one of them, if not both of them, is going to try to get you as their ally. They want you to help them have the first turn.

“Let me hold the chains and let’s figure this out. So you each think you should have the first turn. Right?” At this point they’ll probably try to explain, at the same time, why they deserve the first turn.

Then let them know that each of them is a very important person, and that you think that together you can figure out something that both of them like.

This is when you do the 7-step strategy (available for free if you go to www.parentchildteacher.com/free.html and get the free book)

It helps if you carry a small notebook and pen in your purse for just such situations. After a few sessions with this strategy, maybe even just one, your grandsons won’t need your help to find mutually agreeable solutions.

It makes so much sense to kids that each one of them is important. They love discovering that they can work out things out in ways that work for them both.

This is what I mean by being powerful.

I remember one time when I was working as head teacher in Children’s House, our Montessori school. I had already introduced the 7-step strategy. I noticed two children conflicting over something. I came up to them and took my notebook out of my pocket.

The children saw me coming. They looked at each other. Then one said, “Ok, you can go first if I can hold your bear.” Then they ran out into the play yard . They had mastered the essence of the strategy. They had only had a couple of lessons, but they no longer needed or wanted the long version. Conflict had ended for them. Harmony took its place.

I was using my power and they had claimed their’s. The power to create and live in harmony.