There Is Nothing Gentle About Spanking
I still can’t believe what I read in Grandparents.com! This is from someone who is now a grandfather: “…Yes I do believe in a gentle spanking—but then you hold them, give them a hug, and don’t let them go until they stop crying…”
How can he think that he has treated his child gently if he has done something deliberately that makes his child cry?
The number one definition of ‘gentle’ is ‘kind.’ Now maybe this grandfather thought it was kindness to hurt his child. Maybe he thought that if he hurt the child a little now, it would save the child from greater hurt later.
If this was such an effective and worthwhile form of teaching children how to behave, why is his daughter not practicing this with her children? She is deliberately NOT practicing this! What does that say about this practice?
I think that this practice has been well-established as based on wrong thinking. Even pediatricians believe that spanking is not a really helpful form of teaching children how to behave ‘properly.’
I have to let it be known that even the daughter’s form of punishment is not really necessary, as is also hurtful. There is no need to punish anyone!
There is a much more effective way of teaching children how to behave…that does not involve punishment…at all. It helps children know exactly what to do and when to do it. It also enlists the child’s enthusiasm to behave acceptably. Children are eager to participate. So are adults, once they try this.
It’s called the Power of Respect…and I’m not considered The Miracle Worker…of Education and Parenting for nothing.
To learn more check out my other blogs: The Power of Respect and kvryce.
You can also go to my website: http://www.parentchildteacher.com
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People used to think it was necessary to “spank” adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is “spanked”, but only if over the age of 18.
For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the genitals and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, slapping them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulation in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be sexually abusive, but I won’t list them all here. One can use the resources I’ve posted if they want to learn more.
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child buttock-battering (euphemistically labeled “spanking”,”swatting”,”switching”,”smacking”, “paddling”,or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like “Supernanny” and “Dr. Phil” are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at http://www.nospank.net.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches’ Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus’ Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Thank you for your informative comment!
Spanking women was also a common practice not too long ago. You can see it practiced in old movies and T.V. shows.